Overheard II

I am waaay behind on my updating ... we've already had a TPK (so sad ... only two survivors) but I'm behind on the overheards, so forget that the characters who are saying these are dead ;)

• "Get up and heal us! Stop slacking!"
  (to unconscious cleric)

• "While Perci lay dying, the GM laughed"

• "Hey, who's the necromancer here? I know my body parts"
  "Well, I'm unconscious, so I don't know anything"

• "This could be a coffee table book! 'Things To Do With An Unconscious Paladin'."

• "Are you tired with having to animate the corpses of ugly people?"
  (infomercial)

• "You were dying in a pit of poo!"

• "Scare him shirtless!"

• "This is art! Only it's moving, and it's not wearing any clothes"

• "Lucien! Bathe these gnomes!"

• "It's theological porn"

• "Remember, find him and kill him. Then you get num-nums"

• "She's grappling with a worm-bat that's sucking his throat!"

• "Maybe that crossbow bolt will give him a disease"
  "Ooo! Crossbow bolt of STDs!"

• "Morning, sunshine!"
  "You're a big jerk."

• "Just because I have an animated skeleton, doesn't mean I consort with evil powers"

• " ... barely missing his balls"
  "What?!?"

• "Maybe we should kill them in alphabetical order"

• "We should run from the jello"
  "That sounds disgusting!"
  "Can I have one?"

*moment of silence for our deceased party*

Overheard ... The New Campaign

• "We're feeding the hungry!" (NPC)
  "And who's brilliant idea was that?!" (Perci)

• "It's like we're running a gauntlet of nerdhood!"
  

• "Reassure this, shinypants!"

• "I tend to cause panic in a lot of things"
  

• "You're gonna fall to your fiery death"
  "Again?!"

• "Family values? So my sister can lend me money for weapons of mass destruction?"
  

• "That's how Yu learned to operate a meth lab! I mean, a magic lab!"
  

• "I want a vermin attractant!"
  

• "Now we just need to find an elephant."

• "I need to put some ranks in Handle Gnome"
  

• "This is why I'm not in the Gnomish baseball league"
  

• "Squeeze her 'til she poops!"

• "All right. We spent the evening slaughtering smurfs"

• "It pays to be a ranged ... spell ... flinger"

What Dice Are You?

I don't agree ... but the quiz was one of those "whatever you pick for the last question is your result" type of quiz.

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

Best. Recap. Ever

So occasionally, I have to miss our weekly game. I don't usually like it, but life happens. Anyway, the next day (today) I often ask what I missed ... and this week, I got the best recap ever.

I'm putting it here so I'll always be able to find it ... and so everyone can enjoy it!

I'll let Mi and Yu reply:

Mi: Yu broke her butt!
Yu: And my legs!
Mi: Yeah, and her legs. But not really.
Yu: Yeah, not really. We were just pretending.
Mi: Because we were sneaking and we fell from a window.
Yu: I won! I won!
Mi: Not the sneaking!
Yu: No, but I still won! I am the be-est! I am the be-est!
Mi: She was the only one who was able to blow up the spiders. They were killing Vayla. And Kain and Perci were just running around like chickens with their heads cut off.
Yu: I was so awesome! And I just floated down and everybody else fell. And we found this orphanage for werewolves and I got this great idea to start an orphanage for undead. When I move into my summer home, I'm going to let undead without a home move in, too, because zombies deserve a home, too.
Mi: I told her they had to be already existing undead though. She can't kill somebody just to make an undead orphan.
Yu: Meany!
Mi: The orphanage was really creepy, too. It had burned down two months ago and there was nothing left but an arch and an underground room with a dead body in it.
Yu: And the body was full of spiders!
Mi: Yeah.
Yu: And I wo-on! I wo-on!
Mi: And there were lots of cruel torture instruments.
Yu: They were really cool. And there were a couple of shiny silvered daggers. They were too big for me and Mi, though, so I gave one to Kain and one to Vayla. Perci wouldn't take one. He probably thinks they're evil or something.
Mi: And there was a little girl in the woods!
Yu: Oh yeah, a little girl in the woods!
Mi: We looked after her over night because Kain and Perci were too busy arguing about what to do with her.
Yu: Yeah, she's nice.
Mi: And that's what happened.
Yu: I won! I won!
Mi: Oh, and there are some missing children! We're looking for them.
Yu: They were eaten by kobolds!
Mi: No they weren't! Kain says it looks like they were just captured and taken away.
Yu: Oh. Same difference.
Mi: It's not the same!
Yu: Well, almost. The kobolds might have eaten them later. Then it would be the same.
Mi: Anyway, that's what happened.
Yu: Yep.

New Places, New Faces

We've started our new campaign, set in Korvosa.
So, from now on (or at least until the end of this campaign), the Overheard posts will deal with these misguided character ...

Our new adventuring party!

Kain is our urban ranger ... dark and mysterious, with a kind soul and not much of a sense of humor. He's like Batman, only with a kind soul.

Ah Perci ... our paladin puritan of Abadar. He's about 19 years old, but very innocent (at least, he was - we're working on it). He's also part angel, but doesn't have wings yet. Just stubs, which are used for all sorts of innuendo.

Veyla is our newest member ... I think she's a cleric. She's a follower of a goddess of lust and revenge, which makes for an interesting personality. I think she'll fit in just fine.

Mi is our bard, and one of the gnome twins. She's the more reliable and less insane of the pair, but don't believe that's she's completely sane. She's also got a morale streak that sometime gets her (and her sister) in trouble. Beware her obsession with keys

And last, but not least, is Yu. The other gnome twin. She's a necromancer, and a wee bit crazy at times. She's got a familiar raven named Quoth and her twin Mi to look after her. Oh, and her bag of dead animals.

Overheard ... The Leftovers

So we're into our new campaign, but before I start writing the wacky things we say there, I found a page of leftover quotes from the previous campaign ... I apologize if any of these are repeats. We may have had two lists going for a while.

Anyway ....

• "He caught the ultimate STD ... demon possession!"

• "That was clever! Write it down!"

• "Why are you trying to get our raccoon drunk?"

• "I'd like to see you blow up a ballista"

• "Don't forget to pick up your raccoon on your way over"

• "Don't break our Eladrin! We only have so many!"

• "You may now resume crapping your pants"

• "Do dragons have kidneys?"
  "They have to, otherwise they wouldn't be able to pee"

• "Aw! I've drooled on my spells"

• "Smelly sock attack!"

• "I think it's immune to death"

• "Divodhiin ... cries because he can't scream"

• "Oh dude! In our next party, we should have a rodeo clown!"

• "We've had tentacles the whole time?!"

• "I'll save your boss!"

• "So, you won't be the priest at our wedding?"
  "No. I will come to your exorcism, though."

• "I'll do the exorcism for free. For old time's sake."

• "Are you not doing anything because everyone is judging you?"

• "Ooh! Time to supe-up our meat shield!"

• "Aw! Everything's immune to fire."
  "It's Hell. We're in Hell."

• "We need to kill him as soon as possible"

• "Shit! Sorry, I keep forgetting I'm dead."

• "Oh my god, we're the rulers of the Abyss, oh my god, what are we going to do? Oh my god ..."

Stay tuned! The next post will introduce the characters of our new campaign, and more loverly things we've said while playing.

You've been warned.

Overheard... part VIII (The Final Edition)

Our campaign has ended, and a new one will soon begin, so here is the last "Overheard" ... at least until the new campaign is in full swing!

• "Fake cookies!"
  "They're not fake, they're substandard"

• "Don't O.D. on heroism!"

• "Come down, you brain slug"

• "Hell oysters. Yuck."

• "He's managed to make it with a succubi, he should be able to make it with a chaotic evil version of himself"

• "Ok, no one is playing with the skull"
  

• "Kick him in the undead kneecaps!"

• "So, you won't be the priest at our wedding?" (A)
  "No, but I will come to your exorcism" (G)

• "... hits you with his broad."
  "That wasn't in the character description"

• "You're in an intestine, but you're not dead yet" (M)
  "I can dimension door out!" (A)
  "Poor thing will be hungry again and won't know why" (G)

• "I feel sorry for the worm."
  "We're the one's who crawled up it's bum!"

• "Is shitting my pants a standard action?"

• "Everybody stops to golf clap"

• "I'm a turnip!"
  "A turnip that can cast Bolt of Glory"
  "I'm an angry turnip!"

• "It's a good thing my underwear isn't magical"