How To Play D&D

This is the most straight forward way of explaining how to play D&D I've ever seen:

Overheard... part VII

(Sorry for the long pause between updates!)

• "I totally need an undead bear now"

• "100% is a random answer"
  "Like peanut!"

• "Evil mage camp..."
  "Like evil fat camp"

• "Why does Hrondir need a body guard?"
  "Because she's a squishy mage"

• "Wait, what did you say about mutant babies?"

• "Slow down so I can eat you!"

• "I will be staying in Porphyrie House, I just won't do any whoring"

• "The building is made of bones"
  "What happens if I cast Resurrection on it?"

• "So if I kill, say, a bandit leader, can you pickle the head?"

• "Squishy bludgeoning. The best kind."

• "You haven't brought my body."
  "Your body is understandably paranoid."

• "Can Diplomacy work for therapy?"

• "Ok, I tell him in my brain."

• "She's crazy"
  "She's a necromancer. She chills out with dead people for a living."
  "Yeah. That should do wonders for her self-image"

• "Well, if you all get killed, I will be, you know, whoring"

• "So who's gonna hold Mirr while we cut off her butt?"
  "Does anyone have a melon baller?"
  "No! No one is shaving my ass!"

• "There will be no non-consensual flesh-scooping"

Cupcakes!!!

It's almost my birthday (send gifts) so I thought I'd share this nifty site that I found. It's 100 cupcakes based on games. Readers of this blog should be able to identify this one:

And this one:



But can you guess the others??? Go ahead and try!

Overheard... part VI

• Whenever I hear "throbbing member" I think of an MP with a headache

• Are You There, Calitha? It's Me, Aethera

• What does "Rampant Castration" do?

• And then, Divodhiin casts heroism on ...
  Cookies!
  On cookies...?
  They died valiantly
  

• No, Ledi is not my seeing-eye phanaton

• Malcanthet, there's a party of mortals to see you with pumpkins on their heads.

• I like playing a racist. It's kinda fun!

• You can have the horny bard
  Hey, I'm available
  Ok, you can rent the horny bard

• No dear, you're not a turnip

• Yay!!! ... ... that was creepy

• ... with his nipples (Adil)
  (everyone else) WHAT?!?

• You're using the coins as pasties?

• We've heard enough about the location of Divodhiin's nipples

• It's ale and whores. There's a certain order to these things

• I want to go both ways!
  So does Divodhiin!
  

nothing to do with D&D

*smirk*

Overheard... part V (The Butt Edition)

• There's nothing magical about Grimgore's butt
  

• Do eldrin get dark vision? (Adil)
  No, all we get is pretty (Gen)
  That's enough (Adil)

• There's smoke coming from the doorway, and it doesn't look friendly! (Kat)
  Can smoke look friendly? (Gen)

• Aethera did 212 points of damage! Woot! (Gen)
  Will you marry us? (Alex)

• Let me introduce your butt hole to my GIANT SWORD!

• I can't get it out! Unclench! Unclench!

• Holy hell! You have a +15 for initiative? Can I marry you? (Kat)
  I think there've been enough marriage proposals tonight (Alex)

• Don't kill Maureen! She has all the money!

• Magic circle against eagles!

• I can't poop on you! It's so frustrating!

• Oh no! The ass-kicking goggles!

• I think we should adopt the unclench-the-buttocks cry for the party

Overheard... part IV

• "It's my bra of infinite holding!
  "So each cup is a dimensional space? Or two bags of holding sewn together?"
  
  
• "Does that mean none of us are wearing pants?"
  (noticing that you can put magical clothing/rings/etc everywhere except on your legs)
  

• "It's important for your cheese to be aligned with your magical items"

• "Do demons have knickknacks?"
  "Little tiny tentical monsters in heart frames?"

• "Does your constipation affect ability checks?"

• "Why are you looking at me like Ahazu?"

• "Laser pants? Why would you want to sleep with that? Sounds painful!"

• "Worship the Timbits!"
  "I am glazed and sugary. Worship me now!" (evil voice)

• "Don't let the horny monkeys get Aethera."

• "Extreme Feather Fall!"

• "At the bottom is a giant spider" (Mike)
  "Is it a horny spider?" (Gen)
  "Well, it does try to poke you as you get down" (Mike)

• "Holler when you're dead!" (Aethera, from the top of the hole, to the group, at the bottom)