New Places, New Faces

We've started our new campaign, set in Korvosa.
So, from now on (or at least until the end of this campaign), the Overheard posts will deal with these misguided character ...

Our new adventuring party!

Kain is our urban ranger ... dark and mysterious, with a kind soul and not much of a sense of humor. He's like Batman, only with a kind soul.

Ah Perci ... our paladin puritan of Abadar. He's about 19 years old, but very innocent (at least, he was - we're working on it). He's also part angel, but doesn't have wings yet. Just stubs, which are used for all sorts of innuendo.

Veyla is our newest member ... I think she's a cleric. She's a follower of a goddess of lust and revenge, which makes for an interesting personality. I think she'll fit in just fine.

Mi is our bard, and one of the gnome twins. She's the more reliable and less insane of the pair, but don't believe that's she's completely sane. She's also got a morale streak that sometime gets her (and her sister) in trouble. Beware her obsession with keys

And last, but not least, is Yu. The other gnome twin. She's a necromancer, and a wee bit crazy at times. She's got a familiar raven named Quoth and her twin Mi to look after her. Oh, and her bag of dead animals.

Overheard ... The Leftovers

So we're into our new campaign, but before I start writing the wacky things we say there, I found a page of leftover quotes from the previous campaign ... I apologize if any of these are repeats. We may have had two lists going for a while.

Anyway ....

• "He caught the ultimate STD ... demon possession!"

• "That was clever! Write it down!"

• "Why are you trying to get our raccoon drunk?"

• "I'd like to see you blow up a ballista"

• "Don't forget to pick up your raccoon on your way over"

• "Don't break our Eladrin! We only have so many!"

• "You may now resume crapping your pants"

• "Do dragons have kidneys?"
  "They have to, otherwise they wouldn't be able to pee"

• "Aw! I've drooled on my spells"

• "Smelly sock attack!"

• "I think it's immune to death"

• "Divodhiin ... cries because he can't scream"

• "Oh dude! In our next party, we should have a rodeo clown!"

• "We've had tentacles the whole time?!"

• "I'll save your boss!"

• "So, you won't be the priest at our wedding?"
  "No. I will come to your exorcism, though."

• "I'll do the exorcism for free. For old time's sake."

• "Are you not doing anything because everyone is judging you?"

• "Ooh! Time to supe-up our meat shield!"

• "Aw! Everything's immune to fire."
  "It's Hell. We're in Hell."

• "We need to kill him as soon as possible"

• "Shit! Sorry, I keep forgetting I'm dead."

• "Oh my god, we're the rulers of the Abyss, oh my god, what are we going to do? Oh my god ..."

Stay tuned! The next post will introduce the characters of our new campaign, and more loverly things we've said while playing.

You've been warned.

Overheard... part VIII (The Final Edition)

Our campaign has ended, and a new one will soon begin, so here is the last "Overheard" ... at least until the new campaign is in full swing!

• "Fake cookies!"
  "They're not fake, they're substandard"

• "Don't O.D. on heroism!"

• "Come down, you brain slug"

• "Hell oysters. Yuck."

• "He's managed to make it with a succubi, he should be able to make it with a chaotic evil version of himself"

• "Ok, no one is playing with the skull"
  

• "Kick him in the undead kneecaps!"

• "So, you won't be the priest at our wedding?" (A)
  "No, but I will come to your exorcism" (G)

• "... hits you with his broad."
  "That wasn't in the character description"

• "You're in an intestine, but you're not dead yet" (M)
  "I can dimension door out!" (A)
  "Poor thing will be hungry again and won't know why" (G)

• "I feel sorry for the worm."
  "We're the one's who crawled up it's bum!"

• "Is shitting my pants a standard action?"

• "Everybody stops to golf clap"

• "I'm a turnip!"
  "A turnip that can cast Bolt of Glory"
  "I'm an angry turnip!"

• "It's a good thing my underwear isn't magical"
  

How To Play D&D

This is the most straight forward way of explaining how to play D&D I've ever seen:

Overheard... part VII

(Sorry for the long pause between updates!)

• "I totally need an undead bear now"

• "100% is a random answer"
  "Like peanut!"

• "Evil mage camp..."
  "Like evil fat camp"

• "Why does Hrondir need a body guard?"
  "Because she's a squishy mage"

• "Wait, what did you say about mutant babies?"

• "Slow down so I can eat you!"

• "I will be staying in Porphyrie House, I just won't do any whoring"

• "The building is made of bones"
  "What happens if I cast Resurrection on it?"

• "So if I kill, say, a bandit leader, can you pickle the head?"

• "Squishy bludgeoning. The best kind."

• "You haven't brought my body."
  "Your body is understandably paranoid."

• "Can Diplomacy work for therapy?"

• "Ok, I tell him in my brain."

• "She's crazy"
  "She's a necromancer. She chills out with dead people for a living."
  "Yeah. That should do wonders for her self-image"

• "Well, if you all get killed, I will be, you know, whoring"

• "So who's gonna hold Mirr while we cut off her butt?"
  "Does anyone have a melon baller?"
  "No! No one is shaving my ass!"

• "There will be no non-consensual flesh-scooping"

Cupcakes!!!

It's almost my birthday (send gifts) so I thought I'd share this nifty site that I found. It's 100 cupcakes based on games. Readers of this blog should be able to identify this one:

And this one:



But can you guess the others??? Go ahead and try!

Overheard... part VI

• Whenever I hear "throbbing member" I think of an MP with a headache

• Are You There, Calitha? It's Me, Aethera

• What does "Rampant Castration" do?

• And then, Divodhiin casts heroism on ...
  Cookies!
  On cookies...?
  They died valiantly
  

• No, Ledi is not my seeing-eye phanaton

• Malcanthet, there's a party of mortals to see you with pumpkins on their heads.

• I like playing a racist. It's kinda fun!

• You can have the horny bard
  Hey, I'm available
  Ok, you can rent the horny bard

• No dear, you're not a turnip

• Yay!!! ... ... that was creepy

• ... with his nipples (Adil)
  (everyone else) WHAT?!?

• You're using the coins as pasties?

• We've heard enough about the location of Divodhiin's nipples

• It's ale and whores. There's a certain order to these things

• I want to go both ways!
  So does Divodhiin!