How To Play D&D

This is the most straight forward way of explaining how to play D&D I've ever seen:

Overheard... part VII

(Sorry for the long pause between updates!)

• "I totally need an undead bear now"

• "100% is a random answer"
  "Like peanut!"

• "Evil mage camp..."
  "Like evil fat camp"

• "Why does Hrondir need a body guard?"
  "Because she's a squishy mage"

• "Wait, what did you say about mutant babies?"

• "Slow down so I can eat you!"

• "I will be staying in Porphyrie House, I just won't do any whoring"

• "The building is made of bones"
  "What happens if I cast Resurrection on it?"

• "So if I kill, say, a bandit leader, can you pickle the head?"

• "Squishy bludgeoning. The best kind."

• "You haven't brought my body."
  "Your body is understandably paranoid."

• "Can Diplomacy work for therapy?"

• "Ok, I tell him in my brain."

• "She's crazy"
  "She's a necromancer. She chills out with dead people for a living."
  "Yeah. That should do wonders for her self-image"

• "Well, if you all get killed, I will be, you know, whoring"

• "So who's gonna hold Mirr while we cut off her butt?"
  "Does anyone have a melon baller?"
  "No! No one is shaving my ass!"

• "There will be no non-consensual flesh-scooping"